Expectations of Loss
Warning: this post will be brutally honest and yet hopelessly optimistic. Last week, we had our second ever Check-A-Thon and set the goal to reach $500 for Child's Play. We didn't meet that goal, but we did raise the very impressive $330 for children to have the joy of gaming brought their way during their hospital visits.
Before the back to school season, our streams on Twitch were starting to hit nearly ten concurrent viewers on average (if that doesn't sound impressive, believe me - it's a hard number to reach). Since then, we are averaging around three or four. We've also been dancing around 92-93 members in our Discord for the past month; we lose someone about as often as we gain them.
This isn't a ploy for pity or guilt. It's a confession. Brutal honesty: these facts have had me stressed out the past couple weeks. September has not been a fun month. Despite this stress and these facts, I refuse to slow down or back off. Why? Well, that's where the hopelessly optimistic part of it comes in: I unabashedly believe in what we're doing at Checkpoint. Am I even close to burnout? Not even on my horizon. Am I out of ideas? I write down about 3-5 concepts A DAY for this ministry. In the words of Jesus: the harvest is plentiful.
Even during the times of slow growth or regression, I don't back down from this fight because I see the good that's being done alongside the frustrating 'other stuff.' I see our LVL2 members growing more involved. I see our #Prayer-Requests channel become more active. I see so much good happening constantly that I can't help but believe that the harsh reality of the algorithm and dashed expectations aren't signs of the end, but the true possibility of the beginning. Expectations almost always lead to disappointment - but desires, of which I have plenty, show signs of a hunger for something better and deeper than before. Friends, I'm pushing forward. Will you join me?